February 12, 2010

The Lost Interest

I just finished Dan Brown's latest novel, and I have to say... ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

I'm afraid that Brown, whose previous books I've enjoyed, has become too predictable and there were no surprises to be had in this novel. Not only that, but the story falls back on too many of the same cliches from Angels and Demons and The DaVinci Code.

I won't spoil the plot, for those of you still planning to read The Lost Symbol, but I will provide for you here the exclusive, hot off the presses (OK, fresh out of my imagination) summary of the first half of Brown's next novel... The Forgotten King.

Robert Langdon gets a call waking him in the middle of the night. He needs to come to the campus of Texas A&M immediately. There's an incident that only a symbologist can assist with.

Reluctantly, he arrives at the school where the mascot, a dog named Reveille, has been murdered and covered with what appear to be ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, in the shape of a serpent. Langdon is also given a tour of the school by a single, female grad student who has studied abroad, and shares the outlandish rumors about the school - that some believe it to be part of grand conspiracy, due to its connections to NASA, cloning and George W. Bush.

Meanwhile, one of the cadets, with a bizarre physical deformity, watches from a distance, swearing that he will kill Langdon if he gets too close to the truth...

Langdon suddenly has a revelation while looking at a picture of Wen Ho Lee on the alumni wall and realizes the hieroglyphs stand for "misunderstood spy." Obviously, this points to an anagram. And when Langdon figures out the anagram, he is stunned at what he discovers. But before he can inform the reader, shots ring out and Langdon and his tour guide are forced to flee.

"Where should we go?"

"The airport. We have to get to Memphis!"

While on the plane, Langdon explains that taking the letters from SPY and REVEILLE and mixing them together with an extra S, the shape of the serpent, you get ELVIS PRESLEY. And, of course, as they approach the airport, he is sure to point out the Pyramid in the skyline...

Then the next 100-200 pages involve trips to Graceland, Beale Street (where B.B. King's is located) and the site of the Martin Luther King assassination. Somehow these "three Kings" are tied to a secret treasure - the Gift of the Magi - a heretofore hidden stash of gold still guarded by Lisa Marie Presley, who herself, it is proven is actually a female clone of Elvis.

Coming to a bookstore near you in 2012, and a movie theater near you in 2013.

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