tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14657462170689801732024-03-05T16:28:30.460-05:00Mass ConfusionThe new book from ESPN.com fantasy sports analyst AJ Mass "How Fantasy Sports Explains the World" is out in stores NOW!AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.comBlogger321125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-65655052081882415502016-03-02T14:42:00.000-05:002016-03-02T14:42:19.844-05:00From Justin to Donald<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I blame Justin Guarini.<o:p></o:p></div>
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OK, not directly. But if you want to figure out how we got
here, how it’s possible to have gotten to a place where the race to become the
next President of the United States has essentially whittled itself down to
five candidates, and the one with the most momentum is Donald Trump – it starts
with the kid from Philadelphia (ironically, also with interesting hair) who
sang Stevie Wonder on stage in front of an acerbic British judge.<o:p></o:p></div>
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On September 11, 2001, many Americans lost their lives – and
just about every one of us lost our sense of security. Real or imaginary though
it might have been before then, after planes took down the towers, we were all
walking around in a daze, feeling like we had absolutely no control over
anything anymore. And the chance to escape the mayhem and madness for even a
short while by losing yourself in a television program was nearly impossible
because 24/7 news coverage on every single channel was suddenly the new normal.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Which brings us to American Idol. Yes, Survivor had already
introduced the concept of a reality competition program to the airwaves, but as
fascinating as that program was, it was all self-contained. Viewers had their
favorites, but it was still a passive enterprise, watching as contestant after
contestant got voted out exclusively by the players on the show itself. Idol
changed all that. It was a stroke of brilliance. On Idol, the judges would have
their say, but eliminations would be done by a popular vote of the viewing
audience. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And people got involved and took ownership of these
contestants. When you called in and placed your vote for LaToya, and she made
it to the next show, you won, too. When Nikki was sent packing in spite of your
support, you took the loss personally. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Eventually, there was just Justin and Kelly left. And over
22 million viewers tuned in to see who would emerge victorious. 15.5 million
votes were cast in the Season 1 finale. Justin lost, but somewhere along the
course of his journey to temporary stardom, he had a moment where the judges
gave him some critical feedback, and he didn’t just accept it like everybody
else had done previously. Instead, he asked the audience, “What do YOU think?” </div>
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<o:p></o:p>He was the first contestant to realize that who the judges
thought should win didn’t matter. This wasn’t, in fact, a competition to find
the best singer. Host Ryan Seacrest has continued to make that clear each and
every week over the show’s 15 seasons. “Vote for your favorite,” he implores.
“Worthiness be damned,” is implied. Justin knew. The only thing that matters is
to get people invested enough in you to vote for you to stay. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Since that first season in 2002, America has gotten more and
more used to the then novel concept of being able to influence the results of
what they see on television. We’ve had X Factor, America’s Got Talent, So You
Think You Can Dance, The Voice, and so on and so on. “Vote for your favorite,
worthiness be damned.” And with the rise of the Internet giving birth to a
culture of trolls – by no means the majority, but a large segment nonetheless –
it was just a matter of time before the process got hijacked. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“Vote for the Worst” was a website that understood that if
Idol was simply going to eliminate the contestant with the lowest vote total,
they could rally people around a single contestant and ensure that he or she
would not finish last in any given week, by sheer brute force of numbers. And
what better way to taunt those people who truly were invested in the outcome of
this show than to create a voting bloc of otherwise disinterested parties to
keep the singer they felt least worthy of winning the whole shebang in the mix
for as long as possible. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Countless bodies fell in the wake of the likes of Sanjaya
Malakar, Anthony Federov and John Stevens. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And all along the way, the audition process morphed from the
stated goal of “finding the next pop superstar” to “finding the most delusional
people we can string along and mock and take delight in their inability to
recognize their own lack of talent.” And the ratings grew and grew. And the
contestants sassed back more – and by doing so, endeared themselves to “Vote
for the Worst” and got more votes and advanced further and further in the
competition. It ultimately reached the point where the non-Worsters changed the
way they voted. They started voting for the contestants they thought had the
least chance of going home quickly, not because they liked them per se (or even
at all). They just wanted the Sanjayas to go away.<o:p></o:p></div>
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At its peak, in the Season 8 finale (2009) between Kris
Allen and Adam Lambert, Idol announced that over 100 million votes were cast.
And while the actual breakdown of the final vote tally was never revealed, it’s
probably safe to say that Allen won in blowout fashion, potentially with as
many as 70 million votes. Take a quick look at the official voting results from
the 2008 Presidential Election and do a mental comparison. Barack Obama
received around 69 million votes to defeat John McCain. Out of a total of just
131 million votes. <o:p></o:p></div>
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How did we get here? 9/11 changed the way television news
operated. A constant crawl across the bottom of the screen had to grab viewer
interest. And programming needed to exist all the time. So when there was no
news to be shown, opinion shows began to flourish. Capitalizing on the advances
in viewer voting that Idol had inspired, audiences were constantly being polled
and those results were reported as if it was important information. And those
unscientific poll results impacted subsequent poll results and the tail began
to wag the dog – not on meaningless subjects like who sang that lame Kara
DioGuardi-penned pop pastiche better, but on whether or not gun control was a
good idea.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Slowly but surely,
news channels morphed into entertainment channels and competition for ratings
began to supersede actual reporting and impartiality. Debates were treated as
football games, complete with sideline reporters, telestrators and hours-long
pre- and post-game analysis. Politicians were no longer taken to task on the
issues, but rather their speeches were whittled down into easily-digestible
sound bites. Viewers asked to vote on which candidate was their favorite,
worthiness be damned. American Idol, American President – it’s all the same
now. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Sass the moderators of the debate – and there will be weeks
and weeks of debates – and you’ll advance to the next round. And a certain
portion of the audience will vote for you just to make sure you stick around to
entertain them a bit longer. And who better to capitalize on all of this
madness than Donald Trump, a veteran of the reality show world thanks to his
“Apprentice” empire? <o:p></o:p></div>
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Is it any wonder that a show that garnered popularity
precisely because its eliminations were based on the ephemeral whim of a
dictator (strangely enough, a welcome counterpoint to the viewer vote format
that had been corrupted by “Vote for the Worst” inspired anti-voters) would
create such a cult of personality? Quite frankly, it was inevitable. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The question now is, going forward, how do we stop this
avalanche?<o:p></o:p></div>
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For one, we have to start voting FOR something rather than
AGAINST something else. When I see Trump supporters asked WHY they are voting
for him, the answer almost always takes some form of “Well, Hillary… Cruz
would...” When I hear Clinton supporters asked WHY they are voting for her, the
answer almost always takes some form of “Well, Bernie… Trump would...” Those
aren’t reasons. They’re excuses. And they very nicely achieve the goal of
deflecting the original question and thus allowing you to avoid hearing an
opposing point of view.<o:p></o:p></div>
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People need to get out of their echo chamber and stop
treating knowledge as if it’s something to be mocked. We need to stop
unfriending people on Facebook and blocking them on Twitter as a knee-jerk
reaction for having the audacity to offer up a contrary opinion on your point
of view or to simply ask a question about something we’ve stated. (And
alternatively, we need to not respond to a post like “So proud of my kid for
making the honor roll” with some sort of diatribe on how “if so-and-so is
elected, our schools will get even worse than they are now” – the correct
response is something along the lines of “Congrats!”)<o:p></o:p></div>
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And, going forward, once November passes, how about we all
stop watching the likes of FOX News and MSNBC?
Idol is going off the air. Why? People stopped watching. Yes, there’s
going to be a bump this season’s ratings thanks to nostalgia and the fact that,
but it is going away. Stop watching. It goes away. And yeah, I’m sure there
will be an inevitable comeback attempt in a few years’ time – but if so, it
will come back changed. When the ratings go away, these channels will also
change. The way they cover the news will change. And one can only hope that, as
a result, the types of candidates who gain traction will also change.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Of course, the way we vote is still first and foremost going
to be, to borrow a phrase, HUUUUUUGE. So
let’s start to change that as well. Vote FOR someone, rather than against –
even if the current process has handcuffed us a bit into being forced into the
lesser of two evils. Find a way to connect with a candidate on something, even
if you have to couch it in the context of negatives of the alternative. But
assert it positively, because if we only talk in the negative, this is going to
be an election between Mrs. Benghazi Email Criminal and Mr. Build a Wall Deport
Muslims. And that’s only going to inspire less voter participation and the
greater likelihood that the extreme and the uneducated among us will be able to
steer the ship.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As Justin Guarini sang in the Season 1 finale: “There are
hills and mountains between us. Always something to get over… I don't care how
you get here, just get here if you can.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-27803131800503457462012-08-20T13:54:00.002-04:002012-08-20T16:44:08.520-04:00Welcome to Herschel's Farm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: start;">Here's my 2012 fantasy football logo, submitted for your approval.</span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYoWiNjs1DMxlNlAwef3tM_QRViI-VkY6uyUeBnIu-QcYZlMa1B_aGI7tt61OC5HnADIA33KYT1_lgA4_YO4_EeLwjKlFrD8kO9zCIBoSDOo_ZMLDEu2PHZrbaMEbzBCahROC3jJr7o9I/s1600/hersh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYoWiNjs1DMxlNlAwef3tM_QRViI-VkY6uyUeBnIu-QcYZlMa1B_aGI7tt61OC5HnADIA33KYT1_lgA4_YO4_EeLwjKlFrD8kO9zCIBoSDOo_ZMLDEu2PHZrbaMEbzBCahROC3jJr7o9I/s320/hersh.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everybody look out! We've got ourselves another Walker!</span>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-39386146698225936932012-06-13T11:05:00.002-04:002012-06-13T11:08:12.391-04:00Not Enough Time In A Day<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish I had more time to devote to this blog on a regular basis, but sadly, between my ESPN duties, the advice I give (gladly) on Twitter, the attempt-in-progress to get a taker for my second book, throwing in family responsibilities on top of all of that... well, something has to give. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Typically, it's the blog that ends up falling through the cracks, especially when the lack of downtime leads to a lack of creativity in terms of figuring out exactly what topic to wax poetic about... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm open to suggestions, so if you have any topics that you'd like me to address or movies you'd like me to review, things of that nature (outside of the world of sports, of course -- that's my other gig) -- feel free to offer them up in the comment field below and I'll see what I can do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also want to draw your attention to the DONATE button I've added to the blog to the right of this post. Believe it or not, this is at the request of a few Twitter followers who wished to "give back something" for all the advice I've given them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I give my advice freely and without expecting anything in return, I would be foolish not to do the math and realize that if even 10 percent of my followers donated just $1/month, I'd be able to save up enough money to perhaps self-publish my next tome on my own.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hey, it's worth a try! No pressure... you could always just find Sally Struthers and send it to her instead. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By the way, have I mentioned how nice you all look today? Have you lost weight? </span></div>
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<br />AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-22809949457469291352012-06-05T15:24:00.000-04:002012-06-05T15:26:36.405-04:00Blocked, Not Shocked<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In my <a href="http://www.ajmass.blogspot.com/2012/06/elementary-my-dear.html">last post</a>, I offered my two cents on the whole Rebecca Watson-DJ Grothe feud. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I didn't expect everyone to agree with me, I certainly hoped that anyone who read what I wrote, both in the blog post itself and in the comments beneath it would see that I am far from a Watson-hater. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In fact, I agree with much of what she has had to say, and while I think much of Grothe has argued is equally valid, I fully support Watson's decision to not attend TAM. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I would have thought, however, that Watson had a thicker skin than to block me from her Twitter feed after the following exchange. Watson had posted a link about the King and Queen of Norway being required by law to be members of the Evangelical Lutheran Church. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Clearly in a playful mood, she followed up with a whimsical tweet, which I responded to in the hopes that she had a sense of humor about herself. Clearly, she does not... </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB1UbTZDc2cP1lBf7S7yqhs9QS-MSxAT2opE3oKfiA7mmTHc0Mqn-82IYxzBBKPMCMbU1Z5VdDr136R8NTb8LSymBzXMx11Ht2ZjuDr-GjTW7JGaoGD5fEExFgegpzE0LNanp0gVuhI5E/s1600/rebecca.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB1UbTZDc2cP1lBf7S7yqhs9QS-MSxAT2opE3oKfiA7mmTHc0Mqn-82IYxzBBKPMCMbU1Z5VdDr136R8NTb8LSymBzXMx11Ht2ZjuDr-GjTW7JGaoGD5fEExFgegpzE0LNanp0gVuhI5E/s640/rebecca.bmp" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, this tweet elicited no smiles, chuckles or guffaws, but rather a "block" from Rebecca Watson. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Look, I get she might not have found it funny. But I meant it in good spirits. However, it goes to prove my point that when you read something, it often leads to misconceptions about the intent of the statement. And the only way to know for sure is to ask, not to cut off communication. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Watson doesn't know me, so she doesn't owe me anything. If she took it the "wrong way" so be it. However I would have hoped that as someone who is upset that her own printed words were taken to mean something that she did not intend, that she would be a little slower on the trigger finger to judge others. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Food for thought...</span></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-2746416817044742122012-06-04T14:27:00.004-04:002012-06-04T14:45:20.953-04:00Elementary, My Dear<span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 14.95pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back when I was in
college, I took an Intro to Psychology course in order to fulfill my core
requirements.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As part of the class, all
students had to sign up for and take part in a number of
"experiments" being conducted by more advanced students in the
department. </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 14.95pt;">Naturally, the time
commitment involved in each of these tasks varied as did (as I discovered) the
quality of the subterfuge involved in accumulated data.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For example, one of the
tasks required me to answer some questions about my personal views on a topic
which I don't recall exactly, but it was probably along the lines of teen
drinking and whether the legal age should be lowered or not.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After taking a look at my
answers on the survey, I was placed in a private room and told in about fifteen minutes, I would be asked to debate my views with a professor and would be
asked to take the contrary position to his, which happened to be pretty much in
line with my response to the survey. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They also gave me a
research package to study to help me shape my remarks, and the upshot of all of
this was that after the fifteen minutes had elapsed, they told me the professor was not available
after all, but would I mind taking an additional survey in order to get credit
for volunteering?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The survey was similar to
the original one, and the upshot of the whole experiment, I gathered, was they
wanted to see if my opinion would change after being told I had to advocate the
other side and was given all sorts of information that countered my
pre-existing point of view.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perhaps if I actually
believed for an instance the scenario I was placed in I would have been a good
subject, but as I never once truly thought that I would have to go through with
the debate, the whole exercise seemed worthless to me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In fact, the last thing
they asked me was whether or not I believed the scenario, and when I said I did
not, they thanked me for my time (and honesty) and said they couldn't use my
data.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="File:RANDI.jpg" height="200" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/80/RANDI.jpg/533px-RANDI.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="177" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WWRD?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="clear: right; float: right; font-size: 10.5pt; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The "easiest"
way to fulfill the obligation to volunteer for experiments was to take part in
a survey. You'd go in, answer a few questions, and then you'd be done. These
tended to fill up quickly, however, and I was only able to sign up for one such
activity, one that was only open to males. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As it turns out, this
survey dealt with the male attitude towards women. It was around 100 statements
long. For each one, we were told to put a number from <i><b>1</b></i> (strongly disagree) to
<b><i>5</i></b> (strongly agree) that corresponded to our level of agreement with the
statement.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And so, I quickly worked
my way through the document, strongly agreeing with sentences like "Women
should be paid the same as men for doing the same job" and strongly
disagreeing with "When a man sees a girl dressed in a way that turns him
on that means she wants him to make sexual advances."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then I got to a statement
that simply left me flummoxed: "Any woman can be raped."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had no idea how to
respond to that question, because I couldn't figure out the context of what
exactly the statement was trying to say. Obviously, if it meant that it was
"It is <b><i>OK</i></b> for any woman to be raped" then the clear only answer that
should be selected is "<b><i>1</i></b> - strongly disagree."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, given some of
the surrounding sentences, I suspected that perhaps what was really being asked
was if there was a certain kind of woman who was "immune" from rape.
In other words, I thought the intention of the statement might have been better phrased as "It is <i><b>possible</b></i>
for any woman to be raped." <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If that were the case,
then the answer would have to be (sadly) "<b><i>5</i></b> - strongly agree."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I went up to the
proctor of the survey to ask for clarification, he said he wasn't allowed to
give me any, nor could I leave it blank and receive credit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since it was anonymous,
though, I had a pretty good sense that failing to answer that question would
not result in any repercussion, I did leave it blank rather than skew the data
in a way that (due to the ambiguity I perceived) didn't represent my world
view.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But all these years
later, I still think back to that survey whenever I am witness to an argument
between two people who appear to be at war over an issue on which they actually
are on the same side, but due to a similar seeming ambiguity in something one of them
said, battle lines have been drawn.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Imagine the following
exchange:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><b>Person A:</b> Women who
attend conferences like yours are not safe from sexual assault. Agree or
disagree?</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><b>Person B:</b> If by not safe
you mean that it is possible for sexual assault to take place, then I agree. If
by not safe you mean that the mere act of attending our conference makes it <b>more
likely</b> that they will be sexually assaulted, then, I disagree. I worry that the
way you phrase the statement may lead people to think the latter is true.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><b>Person A:</b> How dare you
blame ME for the problem and not those who would commit sexual assault in the
first place. I am not a liar! These
things happen! I am not going to your conference. I do not feel safe.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While not exactly the conversation that is going on, that's my humble view of
the current <a href="http://skepchick.org/2012/06/why-i-wont-be-at-tam-this-year/">kerfuffle between Rebecca Watson and DJ Grothe</a>, in the simplest of
terms. It saddens me that these two people, and the supporters of each who have lined up on both sides, all seem to agree that sexual assault is a bad thing and should be eliminated. Yet rather than continue a dialogue on the real issue, the bile and hatred directed at each side by the other that I'm witnessing dismays me. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.95pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All I can say is, I'm done with this survey and will be leaving my answer
to this question blank. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-73427794229132824832012-03-31T11:09:00.002-04:002012-03-31T11:09:17.787-04:00Done in 60 Minutes - Volume 4<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe frameborder="0" height="440" src="http://icrossword.com/embed/?id=0C2C_never.puz" title="Across Crossword" type="text/html" width="595"></iframe></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-29996688752739988132012-03-27T11:55:00.002-04:002012-03-27T11:55:36.323-04:00Done in 60 Minutes - Volume 3<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe frameborder="0" height="440" src="http://icrossword.com/embed/?id=5602_Bacon.puz" title="Across Crossword" type="text/html" width="595"></iframe></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-34290885141948854252012-03-21T15:30:00.001-04:002012-03-21T15:30:56.836-04:00Done in 60 Minutes - Volume 2<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe frameborder="0" height="440" src="http://icrossword.com/embed/?id=F7DA_Puzzle_on_Fire.puz" title="Across Crossword" type="text/html" width="595"></iframe></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-50304187923016973522012-03-20T07:00:00.000-04:002012-03-20T07:17:19.332-04:00Done in 60 Minutes - Volume 1<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's the first in what I hope to be a series of crossword puzzles that I'm calling "Done in 60 Minutes." Don't worry, it shouldn't take you that long to solve them. That's simply the time limit I'm putting on myself in making them.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on what you think, and whether or not you'd like to see more of these in the future.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe frameborder="0" height="440" src="http://icrossword.com/embed/?id=E2AA_Four_Aces.puz" title="Across Crossword" type="text/html" width="595"></iframe></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-29549512912990590522012-03-19T14:32:00.000-04:002012-03-19T17:00:57.130-04:00The F in WTF is for Finland<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not quite sure why this video was so popular in Scandinavia in its day, but I know why it's so absolutely hysterical today... for all the wrong reasons. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And please, can somebody tell me what is going on with that bizarre Terry Gilliam-looking dude silently nodding at the start?</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/31x2WpuSAkA" width="420"></iframe></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-49888377163718602812012-01-13T13:20:00.003-05:002012-01-13T13:20:34.722-05:00Toolshed of Suffering<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love Michael Shermer, and thanks to this presentation, I now have the name for my fantasy baseball team for 2012, which I've used as the title of this post (above.)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Enjoy the rational thought, the Nun Bun and the Nileppez.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
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<br />AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-34337458899924081822012-01-04T11:11:00.000-05:002012-01-04T11:11:10.333-05:00Really Pat? Really?Let's give Pat Robertson the benefit of the doubt.<br />
<br />
Let's say he does have private conversations with the man upstairs.<br />
<br />
This is what he comes up with after a WEEK of talking to him?<br />
<br />
A prediction he is "not allowed to share," plagiarism of Abraham Lincoln and a game of 20 questions...<br />
<br />
How does this man have any credibility with anyone?<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PNhrNqS0lyE" width="560"></iframe>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-78392235650644604642011-12-29T09:39:00.001-05:002011-12-29T09:39:46.472-05:00The Customer is Always Right?<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's a story from my time in the casino trenches... I felt it was appropriate to share after seeing all that footage of over-exuberant holiday shoppers taking things a little bit too far. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes the customer needs to be put into their place!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.poker-vs-blackjack.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Online-Casino.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="http://www.poker-vs-blackjack.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Online-Casino.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While quality
customer service is always expected from the front-line employees at a casino,
let’s face it – it’s not always possible to achieve. After all, you can’t
follow the age old axiom that “the customer is always right” when a ranting
lunatic is trying to convince you that they want their $100 bet at the roulette
table returned to them because the dealer took their chip off the winning
number in error –especially when there are no $100 chips on the table, even in
the “muck” (the large pile of losing chips that is pushed to the side in the
clearing away process) making the truth of their claim impossible.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course, that
kind of “shot taking” – where a scam artist will attempt to trick an
inexperienced dealer or floorperson into making an erroneous payout – is
commonplace. Most of the time, it can be stopped before it has a chance to
start, simply by dealers following “proper procedure” in terms of game
protection – placement of the cards, what direction to angle their bodies so
they can see cheaters place late bets, the order in which they are supposed to
clear chips from a roulette layout, etc. Of course, even the best of the bunch
can sometimes make a mistake, as what happened to me one fine day near the end
of my eight-hour shift of dealing blackjack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Blackjack is a game
I could deal in my sleep, and quite often did, as I simply turned on my
auto-pilot, without any real need to pay attention to what I was doing. Simply
put, since most people play “by the book” and you tend to keep the same players
on your table for hours on end, a certain “confidence” is formed between the
dealer and the gamblers. They recognize you know what you’re doing, so they
relax and let you do it. In turn, you know they’re not going to make any “crazy
plays” like hitting a hard 17 or standing pat on a 13 against your face card,
so you deal without thinking and the time goes by faster. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honestly, as a
dealer when you’re good enough to reach that level of confidence, it shows. Oftentimes
in the midst of my “trance” I’d suddenly snap out of it in the middle of making
pay-outs, simply because it just “felt wrong” – and I’d know I’d made a
mistake, which could have been either in
the player’s favor or the house’s favor – my job is to get it right, either
way. I’d quickly correct it on the spot, and again, the players’ confidence
level in me grew – even to the point that if after I swept the cards away and a
player who wasn’t paying close attention to the game would ask me something
like “What did I have? Didn’t we push?” I could simply say, “No, I beat you”
and they’d shrug and the game would continue. I might not have had any memory
of the hand at that point, but I knew I was right, and based on their
experience with me, so did they. The issue died there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://symboloflogic.com/images/hit-blackjack-nt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://symboloflogic.com/images/hit-blackjack-nt.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In short, shot-takers
simply didn’t bother coming to my table – they could see very quickly it wasn’t
going to fly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But on this one
occasion, I got caught. I had been dealing to this gentleman, playing alone at
the table, for several hours, and he was strictly by the book. He never once
varied from basic strategy, and while we didn’t converse, there didn’t seem to
be any animosity brewing at the table, even as he started to lose a bit more
than we won. However, I let my guard down, just for a split-second, and made a
classic “rookie mistake” by “assuming” a hit was forthcoming without waiting
for the hand signal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He had 14. I had an
8 showing. In this situation, you hit since you always assume a face card for
the dealer’s down-card. If I have 18, he loses, so he “has to” hit. Of course,
I jumped the gun and pulled the next card out of the shoe, which was a King,
causing him to break. But before I could even get the card over to his hand, he
started shouting at me. “I didn’t say to hit! No hand signal!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plain and simple -
he got me. I was angry with myself for letting it happen, but hey, it does
happen. I immediately told him to relax. I agreed with him. He did not give me
a hand signal, so he doesn’t get this card. His hand is still live. I called
for the floorperson to come over so I could explain what happened, but she was
busy handling an issue at another table, so it would be a few minutes. While we
waited, I explained to the player what would happen… by law, we are not allowed
to change the order of the cards. So, if he didn’t want the King, that was fine
– however, it is the next card out of the shoe. If I needed to hit, then the
King would be my card. If I didn’t, then as it was exposed in error, it would
be “burned” or moved to the discard rack. He seemed to understand, but the
floorperson was still busy, and he was itching to continue gambling, so when
the pit boss walked by at this point, I called for his assistance. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I explained the
situation to him, and he confirmed with the player that he didn’t want the
card. However at this point, the player said he wanted another card. That’s not
how the game works. He takes the King or nothing. I could see this was going
nowhere, so I suggested to the pit boss that we hurry along the process by
exposing my hole card. After all, if I had a 4,5,6,7 or 8 underneath my
already-exposed 8, then I’d be forced to draw – meaning I’d get the King, and
break. We could pay this guy and move on.
The pit boss agreed and son-of-a-gun, I flipped over a “2”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, we tried in
vain to explain to this guy for the next ten minutes… if he hits, he loses. If
he stays, he loses (as I’d have 20 to his 14) – therefore, he loses. Period.
End of story. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“I want a different
card!” The player screamed at the pit boss, getting more and more agitated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“You can’t get a
different card,” the pit boss explained for the umpteenth time, remaining calm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“This is
bullshit!!!! You’re bullshit!!! ” The player lurched forward to point
accusingly at the pit boss, who unfortunately was not the tallest man in the
world, and ended up making contact forcibly with his nose. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“You get nothing!
You lose! Good day sir! Take your free fizzy lifting drink and get the ^$%$%
out of here!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNgzVHyzOjUPb5853I-TgcSGKqjXFqHzyAjmXQKAK8rbURe05tfIKF48jC-DFypbQcTTvNF-nypAwW1LWs4NVedKS5q75KZgg6LGoZ3MBnhPPMRqSYkENyQ3esybj65QGdKthceqf1f2k/s320/Good+day+sir.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNgzVHyzOjUPb5853I-TgcSGKqjXFqHzyAjmXQKAK8rbURe05tfIKF48jC-DFypbQcTTvNF-nypAwW1LWs4NVedKS5q75KZgg6LGoZ3MBnhPPMRqSYkENyQ3esybj65QGdKthceqf1f2k/s320/Good+day+sir.bmp" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And so, with
security quickly approaching the table, the man left without further incident.
However, it wasn’t the last we’d see him that day. About twenty minutes later, Terri,
the shift manager came to my table to ask me what had happened. Apparently, the
man had filed a complaint with the Casino Control Commission, claiming we had
cheated, and he was not going to back down until he got his money back. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After I told her
what had happened, she rolled her eyes and started laughing (especially the
part about our Oompa-Loompa-sized pit
boss getting poked in the proboscis.) Because it costs far more money to defend
ourselves in a case like this than it would be than to give this man his $10
bet back – that’s right, we’re talking about $10 here – she let me know that
she was going to give him his $10 and escort him from the casino, where his
business was no longer welcome. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, when the
man showed up at my table, looking smug and high and mighty, ready to gloat as
I was forced to give him back his bet, Terri had one last surprise for him. She
wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of making <b>me</b> give him those two red chips. She told him she would be giving
his ten dollars back, but if he wanted it, he would have to go to our special
“returns table” on the other side of the casino, a good ten minute walk away.
He was about to argue, but when she asked, “Do you want to make the walk or
drop your complaint?” his smile vanished and his posture slumped. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He waited by the
escalator for Terri to lead him on what I was sure would be the least-direct
route to the furthest table from our location, and as she turned to join him,
she looked back at me and said with glee, “Wait until he finds out I’m paying
him in quarters.” </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-61316049153081721132011-11-29T12:37:00.001-05:002011-11-29T12:39:46.092-05:00Charge to the White House?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/199112/slide_199112_502580_large.jpg?1322516278" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/199112/slide_199112_502580_large.jpg?1322516278" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Check out a "review" of sorts of my book on </span><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/28/nfl-quarterbacks-republican-nominees-fantasy-sports-aj-mass_n_1117287.html?ref=sports" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">The Huffington Post</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">. </span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's How Fantasy Sports Explains... the Republican candidates? </span></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-25513430999173492442011-11-17T12:12:00.001-05:002011-11-17T12:44:59.404-05:00Twice Upon a Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://cdn.media.abc.go.com/m/images/image-util/624x351/dd1e1890cc2a31972c4203115d4af99c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://cdn.media.abc.go.com/m/images/image-util/624x351/dd1e1890cc2a31972c4203115d4af99c.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's hard to know what to think about ABC's <i>Once Upon a Time</i>, because even though I want to like the show, the first few chapters of the story have just missed the mark for me. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The conceit of the program is that fairy tales are "real" and that the Evil Queen has put a curse upon all the characters that we know and love from the bedtime stories of our youth (Snow White, Cinderella, Jiminy Cricket, etc.). The curse has sent them into "our world" where they are forever stuck in a sad state of limbo, and where none of them have any happy endings -- except of course for the Evil Queen, now the mayor of Storybrooke. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Enter "Emma" into the tale, who we learn during flashbacks to pre-curse fairy-tale time, is (unbeknownst to her) actually the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. Her own son (put up for adoption years ago and not-so-coincidentally now living with his own wicked stepmother -- the mayor) knows the "truth" and tracks Emma down to help rid the town of the curse.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/rumpelstiltskin-once-upon-a-time.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="216" src="http://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/rumpelstiltskin-once-upon-a-time.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She is skeptical at first, as any normal person would be, but feels compelled to stick around and help her son battle his delusions as well as his oppressive adoptive mother. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And herein lies the problem with the show... half of each episode is spent in flashback, revealing to us the "true history" of these characters, with fresh spins on the classic tales, such as where Rumpelstiltskin (above) kills Cinderella's fairy godmother in order to take advantage of the naive girl. The rest of each week's hour shows us how these characters' modern-day plights mirror that of their backstory, all the while Emma slowly begins to buy into her son's fantasy.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now it would have been far more interesting for us to be left in doubt as to whether or not this is indeed a delusion, but that's not how the show decided to play it. Unless the writers are outright lying to us, these <i>are</i> fairy-tale characters. As such, we're left with an interesting world of differently-spun fairy tales combined with a completely separate and somewhat intriguing "soap opera" world of Storybrooke, neither of which have any real stakes involved unless and until the characters themselves all "remember" who they really are... </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Individually, there's a lot of fun ideas being bandied about in both worlds, but in trying to construct a bridge between the two, I'm afraid I'm left unsatisfied. Something just isn't "right" with the balance here. I guess m</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">aybe that makes me one of the three bears? If so, Goldilocks can't arrive soon enough to shake me out of my doldrums.</span></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-79449977520956892702011-11-15T08:34:00.001-05:002011-11-15T09:03:10.432-05:00John Carpenter - Psychic Director?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Take a closer look at the cult classic film <i>They Live</i> and you can see the footage that most media outlets were forbidden from shooting overnight as the NYPD cleared out Zucotti Park.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/99ItfGwfCTo#t=254s" width="420"></iframe>
</div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-39356390820415019572011-11-11T14:05:00.001-05:002011-11-11T14:07:52.454-05:00The Grass Roots Movement Begins!<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ladies and gentlemen... the bar has been set. Who shall be the Sergei Bubka of reviewers to trump this one? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Challenge... extended.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/M5jP0weWKMc" width="560"></iframe></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-76047373041214483842011-11-08T17:01:00.001-05:002011-11-08T17:03:25.382-05:00Surviving!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://robhasawebsite.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/20111104-ajmass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="http://robhasawebsite.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/20111104-ajmass.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In case you missed it, please click on over to Rob Cesternino's website</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and take a listen to the fun podcast we did on "How Fantasy Sports Explains Survivor" </span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's the link: <a href="http://robhasawebsite.com/aj-mass-how-fantasy-sports-explains-world.html">CLICK ME!</a></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/replicate/EXID18010/images/robcesternino.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/replicate/EXID18010/images/robcesternino.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Rob C. - the best player never to win</span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-75157814659648728252011-11-03T12:24:00.000-04:002011-11-03T12:48:52.768-04:00And One Fraud to Rule Them All...<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://l.yimg.com/ea/img/-/110929/group_resized_1788fnt-1788fo1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://l.yimg.com/ea/img/-/110929/group_resized_1788fnt-1788fo1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Prepare to be amazed? No, I don't reckon I will...</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Imagine if you will a reality show competition where, each week, the judges are to eliminate the contestant whose efforts are the least impressive, until only one true champion remains.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Actually, it's not hard to imagine, as these shows are all over the television dial. But what makes <i>The One</i> from Australia an impossible pill to swallow is that none of the contestants actually demonstrate any talent at all in what they're supposed to be talented in.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You see, <i>The One</i> is the search for Australia's Top Psychic, and we're told that the smiling faces in the photo above were chosen for being the best of the best out of hundreds and hundreds of applicants to the program. Now I'm not going to waste time thinking too hard about that last sentence, but how this show actually manages to keep a straight face is beyond me. It's a train wreck!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Through the first three episodes, the contestants have faced some daunting challenges indeed:</span></div>
<br />
<ul>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They were stranded in a forest setting and given 15 minutes to find the rescue helicopter waiting for them a short distance away. (A few did, but most just wandered in circles until time expired.) </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They were sent to an apartment and asked to identify the why/how/where of a murder that had taken place inside some time ago. (Many guessed that it was a lover's tiff, but even the few who correctly hinted at a possible strangulation also threw out stabbing and gunshots as the cause of death.)</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They were asked to study four volunteers and diagnose their "medical maladies." (Rather than actually saying, "You've got a fake leg!" or "You're pregnant!" they spoke in vague generalities like, "You've got a scar or something in the lower part of your body...yes?" and "I see something with the stomach area?")</span></li>
</ul>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's akin to if you had turned on the first episode of the new season of <i>Top Chef </i>and watched as six of the ten cooks burned the dish beyond recognition, two placed inedible meals in front of Padma and Tom, and the remaining two served up some toast. There's no way you, as a viewer, would be able to, shall we say, "stomach" such a showing. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSCpvUNJYO1QW0WnnHvpxHgn63c85KU3AKxcwKnRFONNR4-c0Io" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="101" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSCpvUNJYO1QW0WnnHvpxHgn63c85KU3AKxcwKnRFONNR4-c0Io" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I see dead people!</i> </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://l.yimg.com/ea/img/-/110929/richard_resized_1788f9e-1788f9g.jpg?x=290&y=149&xc=1&yc=1&wc=629&hc=322&q=70&sig=kiMx4ZD5wvRgntT.frI3bg--" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="101" src="http://l.yimg.com/ea/img/-/110929/richard_resized_1788f9e-1788f9g.jpg?x=290&y=149&xc=1&yc=1&wc=629&hc=322&q=70&sig=kiMx4ZD5wvRgntT.frI3bg--" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Of course you do... you're in a cemetery!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Which brings us to the judges: Stacey Demarco, a "respected spiritual practitioner" (whatever that means) and skeptic Richard Saunders, who fights in vain to put some sort of rational spin on the events taking place. It's frustrating, because it is clear that both the editors, as well as the host of the show, are keen to dismiss Saunders as the silly one for not believing.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When a psychic misses and Demarco is asked what she thinks went wrong, it's always couched in terms of "nerves" or "doubting her own abilities" and the host nods and agrees that these are difficult tasks indeed. When Saunders is asked the same question and dares to suggest that maybe the reason that the contestant "misread the energy" in the room is that there is no "energy" there, he's met with eye rolls and mocking tones. "What ever <i>will</i> it take to convince you, Richard?"</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I invite you to take a look for yourself <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9DJXOjumSI">here</a>, but my psychic prediction? You won't need to "brace yourself for the impossible" as the show suggests you do before watching. You'll simply be shaking your head in disappointment and disbelief. </span></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-44192582716522000092011-10-21T12:00:00.003-04:002011-10-22T09:45:18.557-04:00Time for TAPS?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.damnedct.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/taps1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://www.damnedct.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/taps1.jpg" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I used to love watching the show <i>Ghost Hunters</i> on television. Now, however, I find the program sadly disappointing. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It has nothing to do with my views on the existence (or rather, the non-existence) of ghosts and other paranormal activity -- I discuss that topic more in-depth with DJ Grothe of the James Randi Educational Foundation (J-REF) <a href="http://www.amazon.com/How-Fantasy-Sports-Explains-World/dp/161608295X">in my book, which can be found here</a>. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Look, you don't have to believe in the existence of zombies to enjoy <i>The Walking Dead</i>, for example. But what drew me into <i>Ghost Hunters </i>in the first place was primarily two things: 1) the interesting and engaging personalities of the investigators, and 2) the trust in the evidence that they would present.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As to the first part, I always enjoyed the banter between Steve and Tango as they explored dark passageways on a quest to debunk possible hauntings. Steve's fear of heights, spiders, flying, heck - his fear of everything, it seems, except ghosts - was always good for a laugh. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It brought a fun spirit (so to speak) to the whole enterprise.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The series' high point, for me, cames when during a live Halloween special, guest-investigator and ECW wrestler, Elijah Burke, suddenly got freaked out and ran off screaming. It was hilarious, and whether or not you believe ghosts are real - his reaction certainly was authentic, and more importantly -- entertaining beyond belief.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1aNa_x5Zu4U" width="420"></iframe></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, though, Steve and Tango's appearances have become few and far between. The new interchangeable batch of investigators is full of bland and unremarkable non-entities. And with none of them distracting me from the "gathering of evidence" I can see even more clearly the cracks that exist in that department.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When the show first started, the evidence consisted primarily of grainy video and EVPs - recorded audio that when played back seems to have captured spooky, otherworldly responses to questions that were not heard "live" by the investigators. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While there's plenty of room for interpretation of these images and sounds, at least the audience at home can actually see and/or hear them. Sure, the conclusion that there is no other explanation for these things save for the supernatural is not one I'm on board with, but at least I can concede it remains a "possible" explanation, however unlikely. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But over the years, new devices have been brought into the mix -- tools such as the K-II meter (seen below) which TAPS claims will measure variation in the EMF field in a room. They'll ask questions to a ghost they believe to be in a room and when the meter's lights move, they present it as proof that the ghost is responding to them.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://paranormaldailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/k2-meter-150x150.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://paranormaldailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/k2-meter-150x150.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course, that might hold some water if there was any scientific basis for believing that when a ghost talks (and we'll assume for the sake of argument that ghosts exist at all and that the meter itself does what they say it does) that by so doing, the EMF in a room is somehow affected. But there really is no reason to make any connection between the two things. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It would be like me, sitting in my house, watching my cat raise his paw at random non-specific intervals and to conclude that it must be being caused by the inter-dimensional mice that are trying to manifest themselves into our universe. Correlation is not causation. It's all "woo."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now add to that an annoyingly loud soundtrack that makes it impossible to ever hear the sounds that the investigators claim they are reacting to, along with the need (for dramatic reasons) to always investigate in pitch darkness, even when the claims by homeowners frequently state they've seen apparitions while eating lunch in full sunlight...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh, TAPS. I'm afraid... I'm afraid our time here is done. On to the next one...</span></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-23353348532321944762011-10-15T20:53:00.001-04:002011-10-15T20:53:12.166-04:00Zombies!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The Walking Dead" returns for its second season on AMC, and to celebrate, please enjoy this catchy little ditty by Jonathan Coulton.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cOlznuyPOeM" width="420"></iframe></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-37422063263790015402011-10-15T00:00:00.000-04:002011-10-15T07:25:22.190-04:00This One Goes to 11<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i447.photobucket.com/albums/qq196/facedownrocks/SpinalTap_11-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" src="http://i447.photobucket.com/albums/qq196/facedownrocks/SpinalTap_11-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What's the key to a lasting marriage? </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's the ability to laugh. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even through the hard times... especially then.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's knowing without question that the person with whom you exchanged vows has got your back 100 percent of the time. And of course, you've got theirs as well.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No doubts about that. Ever.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's that unspoken bond... the conversations you can have across a crowded room, expressed with only a look here and a tilt of the head there. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's knowing that under no circumstances whatsoever should I place either a Starship or Hall & Oates YouTube video right about now... if I know what's good for me... Quick, save me Stefon!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><object height="288" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/6brGYp9rRXsnaRrtiqTnMw">
</param>
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true">
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<embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/6brGYp9rRXsnaRrtiqTnMw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512" height="288" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, mostly, it's the laughter. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And after 11 years with Sara, that's something we still share -- something we actively seek out, even when we've had a day that make us want to scream.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that's why I still love her... and always will.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Happy Anniversary!</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-10187210198574834572011-10-13T09:36:00.003-04:002011-10-13T09:38:12.107-04:00This Show Sucks<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://www.vannenwatches.com/support/images/news/sucklord-work-of-art-bravo.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lighten up, Morgan! </span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.vannenwatches.com/support/images/news/sucklord-work-of-art-bravo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I usually enjoy competition-style reality shows that are based on creating some sort of tangible product. Even though eliminations are based on judging which is totally subjective, usually the panels do a good job of explaining the rationale behind the decision on who gets the ax in a given week...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On <i>Project Runway</i>, for example, clothes can be deemed to be constructed poorly or they don't fit the model properly, and I can understand and see that. On <i>Top Chef,</i> while I can't taste the food for myself, when a judge spits out the entree into a napkin, one can easily see the writing on the wall for that soon-to-be saying sayonara contestant.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Which brings me to <i>Work of Art</i>, which debuted last night, and featured a contestant that the show has no problem referring to as "The Sucklord" (real name Morgan, pictured above). It fails on so many levels... first, it tries way too hard to copy the Bravo mold of: model host/eccentric mentor/stern, hard-to-please judges. However, Simon de Pury (below with China "Not Heidi" Chow) is no Tim Gunn and has such a thick accent, he's often impossible to understand. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/blogs/files/2010/06/work-of-art.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/blogs/files/2010/06/work-of-art.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"Veldt, we cat some find heart, donuts China?"</i></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A typical exchange with an artist goes something like this: </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Simon: "Well, I don't know what you are doing here, but I am sure it can be something fabulous if you do it, you know?"</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Contestant: "Um...."</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Simon: "Go for it and be sure to be bowler or the juice willow son horn! Yes?"</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Contestant: "Um...."</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The actual creative process is interesting to watch as we see the artists struggle to interpret the particular instructions of the challenge... but in the end, it is the pompous judging panel that ruins the program. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The assignment this week was to take a shlocky piece of art of the "velvet Elvis" variety and transform it into something of "quality." So they praise one contestant for taking a sculpture of a blindfolded woman and painting a picture of it -- "Changing the medium was so clever!" and she is in the top three. Then they scold The Sucklord for taking a painting of Gandalf and making a sculpture based on it -- "You didn't change anything!"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What?</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://img.poptower.com/pic-62088/ugo-nonis-work-of-art.jpg?d=600" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://img.poptower.com/pic-62088/ugo-nonis-work-of-art.jpg?d=600" width="149" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ugo? You go.</span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I get that it is a matter of opinion, but when I watch other shows, I marvel at how the contestants can do something I cannot (make a glamorous dress, cook a five-star meal) and in such little time. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When someone has eight hours to work on a challenge, and does little more than crumpling up a piece of paper, splattering a little paint on it, throwing it on the floor and calling it a day? I can do that. And when that contestant ends up in the top three for their "work" while the esteemed panel eliminates a guy for doing an intricate work that reminded them of Keith Haring (you know, an<i> actual</i> artist)...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sorry Bravo. I won't be hanging around your gallery.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-25718243802541245632011-10-05T09:25:00.005-04:002011-10-05T09:28:04.262-04:00In My Prime?<div style="text-align: justify;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/birthday-sadness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="268" src="http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/birthday-sadness.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">At least I'm in better shape than this poor lady...</span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Please, no gifts...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I turn 41. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's not the answer to life, the universe or anything. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's not a nice milestone birthday like "the big four-oh." </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It simply is what it is... </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was the number of the last symphony composed by Mozart.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's the age Nate Dogg was when he died. And I haven't laid any busters down or let my gat explode in many a year.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I share a birthday with Kate Winslet, Mario Lemieux, and the actor who played the guy who invented Facebook, among others.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of those others is Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson, who was kind enough to be interviewed for my book.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ah yes, the book... after all that time spent obsessing over every single word in the writing process, now I obsessively track the Amazon rankings, my mood rising and falling in step with that number... today, it's down, and hence, so am I -- at least a little bit...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also have a wonderful wife and an amazing little boy in my corner each and every day. I have a job that I love doing, and that I know many people dream of having. Allergies aside, I am in reasonably good health. I am extremely lucky... I get it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So this is a happy 41st birthday after all. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, if you really want to know what would make me happy... have I got a book for you...</span></div>
AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1465746217068980173.post-16957615152364113192011-09-30T09:33:00.000-04:002011-09-30T09:39:40.998-04:00Total Eclipse of the Plot<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://insidebellascloset.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/eclipse-movie-stills-eclipse-movie-10333706-560-373.jpg?w=560&h=373" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://insidebellascloset.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/eclipse-movie-stills-eclipse-movie-10333706-560-373.jpg?w=560&h=373" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So when we last left our saga at
the end of <i>New Moon</i>, Edward (our pasty-white
hero) has agreed to acquiesce to Bella's request to be turned into a vampire --
but only if she agrees to marry him. And if she doesn't get a little more fangy
and a little less heart-beaty soon, the Volturi (<i>La Policia Nosferatu Italiano</i>)
will come and kill Bella, Edward, and the entire Cullen clan.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, Bella hems and haws and reads
poetry to her immortal beloved, invoking all the foreshadowing fairies in
the universe to hang over her while she laments that marrying young doesn't mean
that a couple is in love, but rather that they "got knocked up." </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And besides, it would
be a buzzkill before graduation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She is also <i>so</i> grounded by her
Dad for her having disappeared to Italy for three days at the end of the last
film. (Some parents just don't get it!) But he agrees to let her out of her room to visit Jacob and
the rest of the Werewolf family. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, it's really a trap! </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They sit Bella down and show her a "The More You Know" PSA, trying to convince her that vampires are
evil -- a short film about how centuries ago, one of the undead monsters almost killed
their entire tribe. Fortunately, they were saved when a brave woman -- referred to only as "the Chief's third wife" -- stabbed herself, distracting the vampire with the scent of her blood long enough
for the Chief to defeat her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">See, Bella? Werewolves are much
better than vampires, and this heroic woman is still celebrated today on
"Chief's Third Wife Day" -- her name lives on, whatever it was! Come
live with us and join our forward-thinking group. Misogyny much? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then Jacob
kisses Bella, despite her protests, and she breaks his nose. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://static.newmoonmovie.org/em/images/eclipse-poster-movie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://static.newmoonmovie.org/em/images/eclipse-poster-movie.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, Fergie, the last
Black-Eyed Peas Vampire standing, is in Seattle. Apparently, the Grunge scene,
dead since 1994, is a great place to sire a "newborn army" since
those newbies are super-strong and easily manipulated into attacking the Cullen
clan on her secret say-so.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Volturi stand around, just watching the whole situation,
looking rather poncy and goth, as they do, because you know -- carnage, fun!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://thetwilightfansite.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/eclipse-movie-still-volturi.jpg%20" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://thetwilightfansite.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/eclipse-movie-still-volturi.jpg%20" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyway, even the werewolves realize that an army of the
undead will likely send property values spiraling downward, so they agree to take
part in an 80's training montage with the Cullens and set aside past disputes
in order to keep Bella alive. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To mask Bella's scent, Jacob carries her away to a frigid
mountaintop and snuggles shirtless with her in order to boost tween fangirl
ticket sales. Then he finds out she's accepted Edward's proposal and freaks out.
She kisses him in order to shut him up, and to try and keep this lame
"romantic triangle" storyline from completely flatlining. He goes off
to join the fight in warmer climes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i1033.photobucket.com/albums/a417/SamanthaCullen84/wolf-attacking-newborn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://i1033.photobucket.com/albums/a417/SamanthaCullen84/wolf-attacking-newborn.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eventually, Fergie and her new main man Riley figure out
where Bella is stashed, and arrive to finish her off. Edward and Bella try and convince
Riley she's just using him. And Fergie's all like, "I make them boys go
crazy. Can't no other lady put it down like me. Honey, get some patience, then
you'll get a taste."</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then Bella goes all Chief's Third Wife and the scene plays
out as expected.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's an awkward scene with the Volturi as they won't
admit that they knew what was what the whole time, and the Cullen's pretend they
<i>weren't</i> all chummy with the furry next-door neighbors. And to prevent any
further unpleasantness, they give the Volturi invites to the wedding -- please,
no gifts necessary.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's about it… can't believe there's still two more of
these films to go. Maybe they'll get LMFAO into the mix now that the Peas are
all dead? Until then… everybody just have a good time.</span></div>
AJ Masshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917474941535566217noreply@blogger.com0