October 28, 2009

Birthday Party Pinata Broken By Stranger

Little Christopher Lindsay’s birthday party was ruined over the weekend when a man in a hooded sweatshirt, who had not been invited to the party, but said his name was Eugene Varshavsky and that he was a friend of a friend who works with Lindsay’s father, stepped up to the dinosaur-shaped piñata and broke it with one swing if the broomstick handle.

Although Varshavsky and the children in attendance were rewarded with Tootsie Rolls and other flying candy treats, some party-goers became suspicious that perhaps the stranger had been peeking, and not fully blindfolded after all.

OK – I made that whole story up.

But this guy Varshavsky apparently walked into to the National Sudoku Championships in Philadelphia this weekend – I didn’t know they existed either – and made it to the finals, where he was guaranteed a $3000 prize. It was at that point when officials watching him “solve a difficult puzzle” realized he was too stupid to have solved the previous round of puzzles and launched an investigation into his alleged cheating.

Strangely enough, at the World Chess Championships in 2006, also held in the City of Brotherly Love, a man who also claimed to be one Eugene Varshavsky beat several highly-ranked chess players before his unexpected success caused officials to watch his play more closely. At that point, he lost, while proving himself to be nothing more than a mere chess novice.

So be on the lookout during the World Series. If Charlie Manuel goes to the bullpen and a guy named Varshavsky trots out to the mound, let’s just say I wouldn’t want to be one of the first few Yankees to face him.


  1. You might also want to keep an eye out for him jumping in around the 24 mile mark of the NYC Marathon this weekend a la Rosie Ruiz.

  2. OK now I'm getting flashbacks. Thanks a lot!