Holy crap! I found it!
Let me start at the beginning – It happened two million years ago…
Alright, maybe not that far back, but when I was in college, there was this one cold, snowy winter Syracuse afternoon with nothing much to do except procrastinate from doing the actual schoolwork that needed to be done, where my roommate, Braun, called me to the TV.
He had been watching “the worst movie he’d ever seen” and wanted someone to not only share the torture with him, but also to bear witness to the cinematic fiasco, lest no person believe the extent of this crap. I asked him what it was called and he said, The Curse of Bigfoot.
I’ve always been a fan of bad monster movies, so I waited for the commercial to be over, expecting some lame “guy in a hairy costume” terrorizing the town. But it was worse than I imagined… you see, there is no Bigfoot in this movie. In fact, the film is about a mummy coming to life – a mummy who ends up looking like a spider mated with a coconut.
We watched, slack-jawed, as the movie spent ten whole minutes following two teenagers on their quest to find a bottle of “pop” in the nearby town, and the riveting discussion of how much it will cost. Suffice it to say, in its own way, it was truly one of the most horrifying movie experiences of my life.
And yet, I had never been able to find this movie on TV since – nor did it seem to be in any video store I’d ever frequented, as I often would sneak a peek in the classic horror and sci-fi sections, hoping to see a cobweb-covered, unrented copy lying there in wait of its next unsuspecting victim.
Until today – when suddenly, a link to this film, which is apparently now in the public domain, magically appeared in search engines, despite my having looked for information on it several times over the years with no success.
So here it is… The Curse of Bigfoot in all of its glory! I dare you to make it until the “going for pop” scene. Heck, I dare you to make it through the first two minutes… Go ahead. See how long you can last, and let me know in the comments below when you bailed out and why.
(There may be some slight buffer time, but not too much... Fear not!)