May 3, 2010

20 Random Thoughts

1. As much as I’d like to believe that children are our future, how can I get behind any philosophy espoused by that nutjob Whitney Houston?

2. I have seen one of the Sweathogs naked… sadly, it wasn’t Barbarino… and it wasn’t pretty.

3. I have always found it far easier to write things down rather than to say them out loud. Maybe this is why I’m far better at keeping in touch with old friends than I used to be before the internet and e-mail became so omnipresent in our lives.

4. Having said that, I probably should write my wife a lot more love notes than I do.

5. I hold the record for the highest score on MTV’s “Remote Control” not to win the game. At least I got to “Sing Along With Colin” and take home some kick-ass British Knights as a parting gift.

6. I have been trying to get a book published, and have a very supportive literary agent who is as frustrated as I am with the response thus far. “Great writing… but a little too niche,” we recently heard. This astounded us coming from the same publisher who just released Keith Hernandez’ treatise on the 2008 Mets. Yeah, I’m sure there are millions clamoring to read about the time Marlon Anderson got a headache.

7. The night that “Melrose Place” premiered, I was in a hotel room with my friend Ron on an Indian reservation… I believe we were in Oklahoma. Ron went out before the show to pick up some liquid refreshment for the occasion, and I still remember his fury upon returning, around an hour later, about having to drive fifteen miles to the nearest liquor store, screaming “How can you not sell beer here? You're supposed live up to the stereotype!” Good times.

8. Of all the things about my son that I envy, and there are many things (youth and innocence, just to name two) – what I’m most jealous of is his sponge-like ability to retain information. He can recall the exact outfit he was wearing on an uneventful trip to the supermarket six months ago. I can barely remember what TV show I am watching once it goes to commercial.

9. I never even considered trying sushi until my wife introduced it to me. Now, if I don’t eat it at least once a month, I get cranky.

10. I have seen the Mets win a World Series, the Giants win Super Bowls, the Rangers win a Stanley Cup and Syracuse win an NCAA basketball championship. Yet nothing short of the US Men’s Soccer team winning the World Cup will ever match the feeling of watching the US Hockey Team beat the USSR at Lake Placid… which is why I’m so passionate about the team. I want to feel that feeling one more time.

11. I think my philosophy of life can be summed up in three simple words: Kids love monkeys.

12. If there was one invention from science fiction that I wish was “real” and in widespread, affordable use, it would probably be the transporter. I’d love to be able to hang out with my friends far more often than I do, but the actual “travel” involved is the biggest obstacle to that.

13. I used to think it would be awesome to discover a time machine so I could go back in time and make a few changes in the choices I have made. However, now that I am happily married to my best friend and have an amazing son to boot, there’s no way I’d risk going back in time and changing anything.

14. One of my camp counselors growing up was Larry Rudolph, who went on to become Britney Spears’ manager. Knowing that now, I’m a bit peeved that back then he didn’t seem to care too much for the demo tape we made at Hershey Park.

15. I took some French in school from 4th grade all the way through high school. When my wife and I went to Montreal just after our son was born, we couldn’t find the restaurant we were looking for. I asked a local proprietor for directions in French and got us there. Who says you never use the stuff you learn in school?

16. I’m willing to put up with a lot of unbelievable plot points in order to enjoy a movie, so long as the movie-makers do their best to stay true to whatever zany universe they’ve invented. However, that completely goes out the window as soon as the name “Sandra Bullock” appears in the credits.

17. I am convinced there are no six words in the English language more disturbing to hear when attending your favorite band’s concert than the following: “Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Elton John!”

18. Back in junior high, when my friend Jason and I would walk home from school, there was this small sitting area with a narrow gate we had to pass through. Each time, we’d alternate who went first, just like the credits of “Cagney & Lacey” alternated Sharon Gless and Tyne Daly each week. That’s not an obscure reference… that’s the actual rationale we had for doing it.

19. I don’t know where I’m going… but I sure know where I’ve been. Sorry. There I go again, thinking I’m David Coverdale. What is wrong with me?

20. There's not a television show on the air right now that couldn't be made a little bit more interesting with the addition of one simple plot twist… Dinosaurs!

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